Reading through the many recent articles about users’ undesired friend requests from moms and dads on Facebook and MySpace [Great post here], I’m reminded of my two favorite Seinfeld characters, “Independent George” and “Relationship George”. If you were a fan of the show, you’ll remember that Independent George is the true George, while Relationship George is the personality he has to adopt within the context of his romantic relationship with Susan.
Thanks Leafar for finding the clip!
From Wikipedia:
Independent George is nearly killed in the episode, “The Pool Guy”. When Elaine begins hanging out with Susan, George panics because he feels his “worlds are colliding” George says that “if Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George! A George divided against itself cannot stand!”
This problem of Independent George and Relationship George seems very related to how people deal with their profiles being discovered by unintended audiences. George himself is ok with having two distinct masks to wear in his social life, but he knows that wearing both at the same time is impossible. These days, with the ability to make a profile and express a distinct identity on almost any site, we’ve all become schizophrenic freaks jumping from one psyche to the next in the span of an hour. Maybe that’s just me. Still, if you put each of your profiles side by side and compared them, you might be amused with your multi-faceted personality. But if, all of a sudden, your Mom wandered onto MySpace and came threateningly close to viewing your profile, you might also fear for the death of Independent… Whoever You Are.
It’s the same with my co-workers here at Yahoo who have been using Facebook for several years, but now suddenly have to deal with friend requests from their bosses. With co-workers lurking around, the atmosphere has shifted. What was once a fun hangout is now a place where they just can’t be themselves anymore. Or, at least that “self” they were to their college peers. Even worse, they now have to watch what they’re friends are writing on their Walls - so not only does it change their behavior, it also alters the interaction they have with their friends. If we think about how it works in the real world, it isn’t much different. The fact is, you probably are different at home with your parents than you are when you’re out with your co-workers, than you are with your college buddies. A niche social network like LinkedIn doesn’t really have to deal with this issue, because there’s a built-in mask of professionalism and really no room to express yourself any other way. But a network like Facebook or MySpace, that promises to truly mirror your social life, certainly does.
Facebook seems to be aware of this issue, having built in one of the more sophisticated “profile privacy” tools I’ve seen. When you receive a request from a friend, you can choose to let him/her only have access to your “limited” profile, which is a user-defined subset of items displayed on your regular profile. Although this is more sophisticated than the public or private profile that MySpace offers, it still makes the assumption that there’s only the regular you and the buttoned-up you. In fact, your real life network is made up of many unique relationships, some more similar than others, and some even more different. It isn’t as simple as just wanting to hide pictures of you being wasted at a party, it also has to do with how you relate to and choose to express yourself with each of your contacts. It’s these subtle nuances of real life interactions that no social network has really been able to address.
I’ve been playing around with some ideas concerning these issues, specifically as they relate to a network like Facebook. The essential problem lies is giving users enough flexibility without overloading them with functionality to the point that they want to kill themselves. The Facebook method could essentially be described like this, where users configure an alternate view of their profile for a specified audience:
But as I said before, this still only allows for two versions of your profile. So, instead of doing a profile-based privacy system, I could envision a module-based privacy system, which would allow me to specify which networks or contacts had access to each module:
This allows much greater flexibility over how your profile is displayed and could be pretty seamlessly implemented as an inline tool within the edit settings for each module (instead of having to navigate to a whole other section called “Privacy”). Taking this a step further (and perhaps too far) another system might allow users to create different versions of each module for different audiences:
So here I could have a “Star Trek Wall” for my Star Trek Fan Club* buddies, and a “Yahoo Wall” for my coworkers, and a “Family Wall” for my Mom and Dad.
Man, life is complicated! But if we do expect to create the holy grail of the Web 2.0 world, one social network to rule them all, we have to figure out how to deal with the complicated…or else we’ll have to keep jumping from one site to the next like schizophrenic freaks.
*I am not actually a member of the Star Trek Fan Club
Anne Z.
June 14th, 2007
This is all really interesting to me, because I’m too old to have used Facebook in college (I’m 39) but just started using it recently because people I know online started.
I wonder if this is more a problem for younger people than older. I have a relatively integrated life and don’t hide much from anyone, certainly not my parents! That makes me laugh to even think about it. I don’t mind people knowing a lot about me, although my Twitter stream is protected… can’t remember why I protected it anyway, may have had something to do with the Kathy Sierra uproar.
Maybe what Facebook is offering is good enough in terms of the limited profile view and full profile view.
Great fodder for thought! Glad I found you — I think through Josh Porter.
Anne 2.1 » links for 2007-06-14
June 14th, 2007
[...] sarahcpr » Blog Archive » When Worlds Collide “Still, if you put each of your profiles side by side and compared them, you might be amused with your multi-faceted personality.” Is this more a problem at younger ages? Because I feel relatively integrated… I don’t hide much from anyone. (tags: facebook profiles contacts buddies privacy identity) [...]
lelak
June 15th, 2007
I’m disappointed that you feel you have to hide your affiliation with the Star Trek Club.
Still, I suppose that’s a prime example of your theory of multiple personae for the one individual…
disambiguity - » links for 2007-06-15
June 16th, 2007
[...] sarahcpr » Blog Archive » When Worlds Collide if you put each of your profiles side by side and compared them, you might be amused with your multi-faceted personality. But if, all of a sudden, your Mom wandered onto MySpace …you might also fear for the death of Independent… Whoever You Are. (tags: facebook identity privacy socialnetworks) [...]
Michael Chui
June 18th, 2007
The killer app, so to speak, would be to figure out how to effect this without the hugely complicated morass that it promises to be. I can’t think of how to do it; modeling human relationships in a RDBMS just hurts my brain.
I also have a fairly integrated profile, too. It’s not difficult for people to jump across sites and find out who I am in multiple places. I made a rule, a long time ago, to say nothing I can’t stand by, and while I didn’t tack on “anytime, anywhere”, this mostly holds.
But yeah, both you and Josh Porter have been talking about the need to be more nuanced in describing relationships. Someone really needs to figure out how to do that. XFN 2.0?
leafar
June 22nd, 2007
I love your analogy … I love Georges.
Great Post. I hope we would be able to discuss one day.
leafar
June 22nd, 2007
Facebook and the independent George… Sarah strikes again….
Sarahcpr as a great post about facebook and the myth of one Social network to rule all our connexions.She uses an analogy that I love : the Independant George. For those you love Seinfeld, it’s one of the best moment….
Sarah
June 25th, 2007
Michael - I think I made that same pact with myself - knowing that it would be so easy for people to build a very three dimensional view of who I am just by jumping from my profiles on Flickr, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc., I figured it was better to be safe than say something I might eventually not want associated with me. I think that’s a prime example of the “mature web” - an online space where you act just as grown up as you would in any other public arena.
Sarah
June 25th, 2007
Anne - I don’t necessarily think this is just a problem for younger people. I had a blog back in Atlanta called The Dirty Dirty, on which I shared the ups and downs of life in the online dating world…when my co-workers found it, it pretty much died. On the other hand, maybe the transparency of Internet will force us all to eventually lead very integrated lives…which has both its pluses and its minuses…
Sarah
June 25th, 2007
Thanks Leafar, especially for the clip!
J. Jeffryes
July 1st, 2007
I don’t think a system like this would be complicated at all.
1. You define several “faces.”
2. Each module you create is tagged with one or more faces.
I think it’s completely intuitive to, for instance, create a set of Faces (Work, Family, Friends), and then set up various permissions for each module (contact info goes to all three, personal gallery goes to Family and Friends, blog about last night’s wild party only goes to Friends, work schedule goes only to Work).
sarahcpr » Blog Archive » Why Facebook Will Die
July 3rd, 2007
[...] Constraints Communication constraints arise when your network gets so big that it begins to include “mixed company” - that is, what was once a place for you and your work friends, now includes old friends from high school, a couple people you briefly dated, some concert promoters, Barack Obama, and your mom. This obviously constrains the extent to which you can use this social network as way to communicate, as I wrote about in When Worlds Collide. This is the ultimate burden of success for networks like MySpace and Facebook that have gotten so popular. Of course they’d like everyone in the world to join, but that means altering the social environment of users who are already there. [...]
Why Social Networking Sites will Come and Go - World of Psychology
November 29th, 2007
[...] Seinfeld probably first captured this awkwardness most of us avoid with the episode where George’s fiancee attempts to befriend one of George’s existing friends, Elaine — “It’s like two worlds colliding!” (See here for a short video clip as well as some blog commentary on this issue.) “Independent George” can’t exist in the same room with “Relationship George.” The same is the case with our profile on a social networking website. Once we have to open it up to others who aren’t in our closest circle of friends, we have to sanitize it and make it just a piece of who we are again. [...]
sarahcpr » Blog Archive » Google Owns My Personal Brand
June 26th, 2008
[...] - a picture that you might not want them to have. Somewhat similar to what I wrote about in “When Worlds Collide,” this ability to have your Facebook account linked to your Yelp reviews, and your Flickr [...]